Gaining Resiliency Through Permanent Disability
Part 5 of a 5-part Series
Our 5th Victor in the series is
, a man who has come face-to-face with life changing physical conditions and yet finds joy and determination in his new life.Before The Diagnosis
When we are growing up, we plan for everything from our career to our spouses, often times romanticizing the remaining decades of our life as if everything will always be “ok”. For Thinker, his life was once filled with the outdoors. His hobbies included being an outdoorsman, a hiker, a mountaineer, a rock climber, a cinematographer, and a documentarian. His wife by his side as they celebrated 23 years of marriage.
But as life would have it, there are many detours, some of them more drastic than others.
The Diagnosis
In 2017, Thinker was diagnosed with Adhesive Arachnoiditis.
For those that do not know, from Cleveland Clinic:
Arachnoiditis is a rare pain disorder caused by inflammation of the arachnoid, one of the membranes that surrounds the nerves of your spinal cord. It can cause severe pain and neurological symptoms, such as muscle weakness. Arachnoiditis has several possible causes, and treatment is aimed at managing symptoms.
In Thinker’s case, it progressed into the Adhesive version, which
leads to the formation of scar tissue and causes the spinal nerves to stick together and malfunction (not work properly). This leads to a condition called chronic adhesive arachnoiditis.
Adhesive arachnoiditis can potentially lead to disability. Many people with the condition eventually need to use a wheelchair due to paraparesis, which occurs when you're partially unable to move your legs.
Initially, as you can imagine, his emotions consisted of anger, betrayal, depression, and more anger.
It wasn’t until roughly a year after his medications were figured out and his life began to even out, despite being severely impaired.
In situations like these, it’s hard to find coping mechanisms, but he found that accepting his disability was relatively close to “coping”. However, he did note that having determination is crucial.
Get living or get dying.
One of the hardest hurdles for him (other than the physical limitations) has been the loss of relationships. In our hardest life challenges, we discover who is really there for us, who really cares.
I'm the guy in the wheelchair on most days. When I'm not I'm the guy with forearm crutches. That's all people see.
And for those that were true to him, his relationship with them deepened and strengthened - the most important of all being his relationship with his wife.
How He Has Found Joy Despite Immense Life Changes
Thinker’s wife has been his strength to keep going during the darkest moments.
Now, at 40 years married we have come to terms with AA, but we will never give up looking for solutions.
Interestingly enough, writing has become one of his biggest anchors to mental health. He no longer has to write about what his clients want and can focus as much time as possible on what he wants to write.
His final thought on how to approach the ever-changing roads of life:
Life is random. From the highest of highs to the lowest of lows in mere days.
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