Just Get It Done
When compromise becomes the goal post
My stepson is the typical teenage boy. He doesn’t like homework, doesn’t always want to put in effort at baseball practice, and really just wants to play video games and be lazy. Correction: he wants to play baseball and pursue engineering, but the influences in his life outside of our home pull him towards “let’s have fun instead”.
In our home, the rule is that you do homework and chores before you play games or call friends. It’s always been that way. We frequently say, “just get it done”.
The other day, we were discussing “giving it your all”. The difference between just getting things done and actually putting in your best effort. His eyebrow raised as he processed what we were explaining. “But, you tell me all the time to just get it done.”
And there it was: we had created, on accident, an environment where just get it done meant get it out of the way, even if it’s not enough effort. We knew we had to change our strategy in our wording.
Since he loves baseball so much, knock it out of the park is very well understood to him. He knows the difference between barely hitting the ball and having it caught before he even makes it to first base, versus knocking it out of the park and getting a home run.
Knock it out will become what we say to him when it’s time to get his homework done so that he understands that we don’t just expect him to get it done before playing games, but we also expect him to knock it out and give it his best effort. Since he’s in high school now, that will be even more important because he will no longer have the option to retake a test or turn in homework late as much.
It makes me wonder how many times we have allowed “good enough” to go from being a compromise to quietly becoming the new goal post. Changing the phrase didn’t make a change overnight, but it gave both of us a better understanding of what the goal actually is. And that’s the thing about language: it doesn’t just describe what the standard is. It sets our standards.
What low standard have you accidentally set for yourself?