My Biggest Concern About People That Give Up
Please, don't let yourself spiral
If you’re in your 30’s or beyond, you’ve probably hit at least one major life event.
Divorce. Death of a loved one. Job loss. The list goes on.
It’s as if we’re in our own dialed-down version of the Hunger Games, and each new year is one more time we put our name in the bucket. For what?
For life to choose us for some devastating, life-altering battle.
I’m about to be 40, and like a few of my close friends, I’ve already experienced divorced.
It doesn’t quite concern me that we have experienced divorce. What concerns me is when I see people hit their life-altering moment, and instead of trying to find a path forward, a path that really helps them get back on their feet, they prefer to spiral.
Here’s what I mean by “spiral”.
They develop all the wrong habits, hang out with all the wrong friends, and choose all the wrong actions and beliefs.
There’s one woman I know, who made the grave choice to cheat on her husband — and lost pretty much everything in the divorce.
Instead of looking —
for ways to provide for herself
get a job or even keep a job, or
do the right things for her children
Instead she:
squandering her money and money of the people she’s using
spends her time smoking and doing drugs
getting simple jobs and quitting them within weeks
being the fun parent instead of doing what’s necessary for her children like helping with homework or making sure they get to their extracurriculars.
It baffles me, the lack of responsibility or desire to do well in life. I’m not saying everyone must be a millionaire, but something better than the hole we allow ourselves to live in.
Do people really not see that there is a better way than just letting yourself spiral and letting things get worse?
When I was going through divorce ten years ago, I lost my job, my home, my support system, everything. All I had left when I came back across the country was my kids, their toys, and the clothes that we owned.
But I refused to sit back and just accept the way things were. I did not rely on somebody else taking care of me. I didn’t assume that I was too good for whatever job came my way.
I started at the bottom and worked my way up in my career. I rented an apartment and eventually bought a house. I have continued to provide a stable, well-functioning, supportive life for my children and now my stepchildren.
I never allowed myself to believe that I couldn’t do something, and if there was something I couldn’t do then I focused on what I could do.
I never quit a job just because I didn’t like getting up early (God knows I do not like to get up early). I did what was necessary for my future, for theirs.
If you are going through a difficult life altering moment, then I beg of you.…
Please do not allow yourself to spiral. Do not allow yourself to never get back on your feet. Do not deny yourself or your family the chance to have a stable and thriving future.
I know right now is difficult. I know it breaks your heart. I know there are days that you just wish you didn’t have to be in the situation you are in.
But remember, if you don’t start making changes now, then you will be in this situation for the rest of your life. So start right now.
Figure out what you can do this week, this month, this year to reach whatever goals you need to reach.
Get that new job and stick with it.
Find a positive support system that will only encourage you to do positive things in your life and not only things that are fun or make you feel good.
Focus on habits and actions that are good for you on a daily basis and that will one day result in a better future.
Tell yourself positive thoughts over and over and over again, constantly telling yourself that you refuse to think negatively about yourself or other people. Every negative thought you have is literally altering your brain in a negative way changing the shape of your brain and the potential of your brain.
Changing your mindset, the way you think, the way you act, and the way you behave will result in mass amounts of improvement for your immediate and longtime future. But you have to start now.
You have to stop thinking of yourself as a victim and start looking at yourself as the next victor.
Your name may have been drawn, but that does not mean that it is over for you. Start today and if you need some guidance, then download my free guide to help you get unstuck in life.
Free Guide to Help You Get Unstuck
Go make 2025 the year that YOU become the victor in your life. It starts today.
Ready to improve your resiliency?
If you want to go deeper with me, then subscribe to my Substack to receive the more specific training via email! I’ll be posting insights, exercises, and more on Substack in upcoming weeks!
I made a commitment to myself after my divorce that I would spiral upwards, not downwards. It was shaky for a while but that commitment got me through.