Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you could go back and change the things you regret?
Regret is an interesting thing. The Oxford dictionary says that it’s to “feel sad, repentant, or disappointed over (something that has happened or been done, especially a loss or missed opportunity.” It’s wishing you could go back and change something, take a different road.
To be honest, I’m not sure I regret too many things. I’ve wondered what life would be like if I had become a Spanish teacher or an interior designer. Or if I had never dated or married certain people. Or if I had not searched for and accepted job offers at different times.
I think the only regret I have is not telling my dad “I love you” before I left the hospital room and he passed away. Part of me believed, “if I tell him, he’ll pass away for sure. If I don’t, he’ll still be here when I come back tomorrow.” But, as life and the nurses knew, he passed away a few hours later while I slept.
But overall, that regretted decision hasn’t quite changed my life.
Every step of my life, the hills I’ve climbed, the battles I’ve won, the times I’ve stumbled and fallen, everything has brought me here, for better or worse.
I know, that all of those choices, and the joys and struggles that come with them, have led me to this life, and I don’t regret any of it. With the exception of my regret regarding my father, there’s nothing I’ve done that can’t be remedied or changed in my life.
The decisions I’ve made have led me to two beautiful daughters that make me beam with pride, a wonderful partner who has made my life brighter and more full of love (and his two precious little ones), friends that have been with me through all my ups and downs, and a great career that provides for all we need and more.
Are there still things I want to do that will fulfill my heart’s desires, and give light to my soul? Absolutely.
Those things may take time and more struggles, but as the saying goes, “nothing worth having comes easy”.