2 Things That Help Build Resiliency for Your Kids
And Make Parenting a Bit Easier for You Every Day
Parenting is like riding a bike.
It’s not hard to ride a bike. Sure, you have rough terrain and hills sometimes, but overall, riding a bike is not hard.
I’ve been raising kids for 20 years. First with my biological children who are, at the time of publication, 3-months-away-from-20 and 17. And now, I’m helping my new husband raise his kids, 12 and 8.
Luckily for me, and unluckily for the younger two, I’ve already been through this rodeo. Sometimes I tell them, “I’ve already raised two kids. I already know what you’re going to do and how you’re going to act or respond.” And like clockwork, I’m right every time, because I know how kids act in every stage of development.
Back to the point.
Part of being a parent is to not only model resiliency but to help your children become resilient. In doing so, there are two things that are a universal truth.
Consistent rules and routines are your best friends.
(These two things also work wonders for us adults.)
Children thrive on stability and consistency. It helps them reduce anxiety and stress and provides a sense of safety.
Rules and routines also help them prepare for adulthood little-by-little as they grow older. Let’s face it - adults who can follow rules (laws) and create routines are better able handle the responsibilities of adulthood.
Now, I’m not saying that you should have every single moment of their day planned out and that there can’t be any flexibility. But, small routines and rules implemented daily can make a huge difference (and make parenting a bit easier for you).
For example: getting your kids to read.
I have my step kids read every morning during breakfast before school. It was a challenge for a little bit, but now they automatically come downstairs, grab their book, and eat while they read a chapter. Once they’ve finished their chapter, if there’s any time left before they go upstairs to brush their teeth, they can have device time.
One is 12, the other is 8.
There’s no longer any struggle because there is:
A firm rule in place (no devices at all until you finish a chapter and your breakfast)
A firm routine (every morning, after you’ve changed for school and before you brush teeth and head to the bus stop)
We also have set routines for bedtime. There is a precise time that they start their bedtime routine, which includes showering, brushing teeth/hair, calling their mom, and getting in bed.
We never have any arguments, because they know what the schedule is and what the expectations are. We explain well the importance of schedules, adequate sleep, and doing what we need to do before what we want to do.
Remember, 2 key methods to help them become resilient and make your life a little easier is to have firm rules and maintain set routines.
As for the rest of parenting? Pedal a bit harder on those hills and stay consistent. You’ll be at the finish line before you know it.
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