Why You Should Have Routines for Your Kids During Hard Times
Providing Stability in an Unstable World
For the last few years, my step kids have been through a ton of life changes. Everything from witnessing their parent’s divorce from afar to building new families on either side, new homes, new schools, and growing responsibilities with school and extracurriculars. It amazes me how well kids weather changes, even when the life they once knew falls apart.
I watched my children go through it over a decade ago, and though I know that the crimes of their father still haunt them off and on even in adulthood, they have become amazing, strong, happy, successful young adults.
Out Examples
One thing that kept my children stable when their dad disappeared was the routines that I created at home. The rules, schedules, boundaries, and responsibilities. And it’s the same type of routines that we have now for my step kids.
Here are some of the things that we do that provide stability when life gets difficult for them:
Wake up at the same time, every morning
Reading a chapter or studying for a test before any device time in the morning
Consistent time to go upstairs to brush teeth and get ready to head to the bus stop
Leave for bus stop at a specific time
No devices at all until homework and studying are done after school
Attend all extracurricular events without fail unless running a high fever or throwing up
Devices off at a specific time each night, signaling the time to jump in the shower, brush teeth, brush hair, etc.
Phone calls to their mom start at the same time every night
Bed time at the same time on weekdays and slightly later (but still scheduled) on weekends
Is it a lot? I’m sure it seems that way, but once they get on a schedule, it makes every day easier for them and us.
As for free time? Once homework and studying are done, and assuming they aren’t at extracurriculars, they are free to choose whatever they want to do. Of course, we encourage non-device time during the weekend so that they aren’t glued to a screen all day.
How This Helps
There are a lot of things that change and happen for them on a weekly basis. Some positive, some negative. Some minimal, and some quite impactful.
Providing them a stable life in every other aspect of their daily and weekly routines helps them handle the rough moments when they do pop up. It eases their anxiety and stress when they can slip back into a routine for the rest of the time.
Even if things fall apart in one area, they know that they have a safe space with reduced stress and an easy schedule waiting for them.
Where can you improve the routines for your children in case rough times come?
Feeling Stuck and Lost?
I’ve been in your shoes - feeling stuck and unsure of what’s next in your life. It can weigh down on your daily activities and leave you feeling lost. This free workbook will guide you through a set of questions and prompts to help you discover what’s next for your life.
You can also set up a 30-minute call for a quick discussion on your situation and how to start getting unstuck.
Ready to improve your resiliency?
If you want to go deeper with me, then subscribe to my Substack to receive the more specific training via email! I’ll be posting insights, exercises, and more on Substack in upcoming weeks!
If you know someone that’s struggling and in need of some resiliency, please do share the post and publication!