The Downfall of Allowing Toxic Leaders to Stay
Removing the Weeds from the Garden Can Make Your Business More Resilient
Years ago, I was leading a team of 13 (3 systems), in charge of all of their prioritized projects, production support, bugs, and urgent requests. For a long while, I was able to change the way that the team worked internally, advocated with leadership for time to improve systems and fix major issues, built self-service solutions for end users to reduce dependency on IT, and created a culture of respect, kindness, compassion, and agape love.
And then came covid.
Remote work wasn’t an issue for us. We had already been a mostly remote team, positioned all around the country and with several of us in India. Time zones, language barriers, and cultural differences, we grew and made a great team.
But what became an issue was all the mandates handed down from the government and new guidelines from legal. It was a health insurance company, and covid threw all sorts of twists and turns our way. We were the team that handled enrollment, billing, and all communications to customers.
And the worst for me was a new manager who was a friend of a new director… she was the definition of a toxic manager. She rarely spoke to me, never asked what the team was going through, and insisted on pushing tons of projects on top of us despite my objections due to the fact that the team was already at capacity. For this manager, the mental, physical, and emotional well-being of those under her charge were not important. What was important was saying yes to everything and looking good. And all 6 product managers and teams under her knew it.
Point of No Return
At one point, when I tried to defend the team and explain why everything she wanted wasn’t possible, she screamed at me. “If you can’t handle it, let me know and I’ll find someone else to do your job!”
That was the breaking point for me. I started searching for a new job immediately.
A month later, I had landed one. A great opportunity with a small company, and tons of great challenges ahead.
Within 5 minutes of turning in my resignation, she had sent an email out telling everyone I was leaving. There was no “thank you for your time”, nothing kind to say.
The Sudden Realization of Her Consequences
One of the other managers gave a speech on my last day. He gave me kudos, told everyone everything I had done for the team and the company for years, and even took time to research everything that was currently on my plate. “54 projects in flight.”
My manager’s eyes went wide. She knew she had screwed up. She never knew how much we were dealing with, and she didn’t care. And now it was too late.
I learned later from my team that they had to hire two people to do what I was doing and split the team up. And even then, the new people couldn’t handle it all.
I also found out that every other product manager under her quit within a few months. As did every person she hired afterwards. Eventually she was fired, as was the director that hired her. The toxicity and damage done internally was too much, but it took too long for leadership to do something.
And this killed the resiliency of the company. Instead of having strong teams that could perform under pressure with support from management, the company struggled with projects and deadlines that weren’t met, high performers leaving left and right, and teams that were unable to handle the new challenges thrown their way.
Every one of us submitted negative remarks about our former manager during our interview. We all hoped that HR and leadership would do something before they lost everyone.
And I know, people always say that HR is not your friend, your manager is not your friend…
But leaders - you don’t have to be their “friend” to listen and pay attention when toxicity is destroying your company, your employees, your progress, and your bottom line.
A Plea to Leadership in Every Company
There is a societal standard when it comes to being vulnerable at work. Employees are afraid of speaking up or telling our leaders the truth when something is tearing us apart and hurting morale and culture.
Sure, some companies to annual employee surveys, but by the time 12 months have passed, the damage is done and the best employees are gone or searching. Your experts are gone, your bottom line hurting, and now scrambling to find a suitable replacement. Your company’s resiliency is suffering, and recovery takes longer.
How can we make our companies a place where employees aren’t afraid to tell us what’s wrong?
Or better yet, a place where employees don’t leave because of toxicity but because they are pursuing jobs and dreams beyond what we can provide?
I would much rather celebrate the upward momentum of a coworker than mourn losing a great team member due to a bad culture.
Ways to Clear the Garden of Weeds
If I were in a position of leadership, here’s what I would do:
Make myself available to every person below me, even if they “jump the chain of command”
Build a culture of trust, so that everyone knows I am here to help, not punish them for speaking up
Discover if it’s just the dynamics between two people are off, in which case a different team or department might be a good solution
Check with others about their interactions with the “toxic” leader
Ask HR to review any exit interviews for those that left - was that toxic leader a key part?
Provide a way that employees can submit their concerns at any point - anonymously if they wish
No garden thrives when it’s full of weeds. And your business, department, or team can’t thrive when toxicity exists.
You have the power to clear the garden of weeds and make a team or company thrive. Start today.
If you have a lack of true priorities, too much to do and too little done, a budget thrown out the window, and your people are burnt out, then this guide is for you.
In it, we'll dig into:
5 common myths and mistakes and what you should do instead
Quick steps to get you implemented in 90 days
Discussion points for every area of your business, inside and out
Ready to improve your resiliency?
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Thank you for this piece. I'm sorry that you had to go through such a difficult time professionally, but congratulations for knowing your worth and moving to a place where your value would be recognised. I was invited to a meeting recently with a CEO of a very large organisation (~14000 employees) where I spent some years working. He joined the organisation just before I left, and came at a time when there had been longstanding and deep problems with culture, which he has been working incredibly hard to improve. Even though I moved on from there two years ago, he wanted to hear directly about my experiences. Like you illustrate so beautifully in your article, great leaders are the ones who listen, who ask questions, are accessible and who will seek out the information they need to make positive change.